The Continuing Adventures From Seat 3A
It is often said that in this life we have a twin. Whether you may be walking down the street, passing through airports, grabbing a coffee in some far off city, how many times have you heard the refrain “OMG, you look just like…”
Apparently mine does the weather on an Alaskan television station. But I digress…
Not too long ago, I was making a routine trip back from San Francisco. Having made this trip about seven billion times, it was a standard red-eye flight home which would allow me to be home for the morning coffee and walk with Rover & Fido. Having made the trip so many times, I was so familiar with the Pilot, Co-Pilot and Flight crew that we were exchanging Christmas cards and Birthday lists. Tossing coat, bag and roll-aboard into the overhead and flopping into my usual seat, it was soon time for the seat backs and tray tables to be in the full upright and locked position. Time to go…
I was wrong.
Quietly a flight attendant approached and said, “Ah, we have a small situation. A woman in the back wants your autograph and won’t settle down until she gets it. Can you help us out so we can push back?”
Huh?
While I am glad to accommodate, my only request was “Who does she think I am?” Professionally and efficiently, the flight attendant went back to find the woman growing more vocal and agitated about “Just having to have an autograph of the best Weather Forecaster in Alaska to show off to everyone at home…”
Now it is well known that I barely know the difference between a birthday balloon and a weather balloon, I politely decline, stating that I am flattered, but this is a clear case of mistaken identity. Ok, time to go…
I was wrong…again…
Despite repeated denials and assurances, yet feeling more empowered and emphatic as she was certain of my secret identity, the woman begins a boisterous campaign to everyone in and around row 16 to ensure they know that there is a celebrity on board and she is going to get the world’s most valuable autograph.
Yikes…Somewhere in Alaska a Village is Missing an Idiot.
With the plane now having overstayed its welcome by nearly 20 minutes at the gate and unable to push back due to the ruckus, enter the cockpit crew. Having flown with them more times than Peter Pan and Tinker Bell flew together, they quickly intervened to find the case of mistaken identity was not about to go quietly into the night.
With great calm, and incredible professionalism, having now heard the of the woman’s airport lounge fueled mission, our fearless Pilot returns to quietly take me aside and announce, “Bud, I truly don’t care if know the difference between barometric pressure and marital pressure, sign something on this napkin and let’s get this thing off the ground!”
So to the woman seated in 16A (and the 14 people immediately around her) who now have an autograph that looks more like a seismic activity line and would absolutely make Sister Mary Margaret say really bad Nun words…Enjoy.
And as for tomorrow, Winds will be light out of the South…
